Twittering God’s Story

Scott Thomas has posted a very creative way to tell the overarching Story of the Bible:

With the current phenomenon of Facebook where people update their status daily and Twitter members who update their status event by event with their phone, I wondered what some of the Bible character’s status updates would have looked like. Here’s my attempt:

  • Adam is lonely, really lonely, naming animals…starting with A – Aardvark
  • Adam is having surgery today – taking out a rib
  • Adam is the husband of the most beautiful woman in the world. Okay, she’s the only one, but she isn’t wearing any clothes
  • Eve is looking at pretty apples and talking to a snake. He’s a sly little creature.
  • Adam is leaving the garden and shopping for “the perfect leaf” with Eve
  • Cain is hating his brother
  • Isaac is walking up the mountain with Dad to sacrifice
  • Abraham has a knife in hand but sees a ram caught in the bushes. Man that was close!
  • Noah is building a huge boat – really huge boat and the neighbors are complaining and laughing
  • Noah is really hating elephant dung and those two chimps are trying my patience
  • Joseph is in a hole and lost his favorite coat. This isn’t funny anymore? Brothers?
  • Moses is walking through the Red Sea…no, really.
  • Samson is growing his hair out again
  • Ruth is sleeping at the foot of Boaz. He doesn’t know I’m here.
  • Balaam is listening to his donkey talking to him
  • David is really glad the pretty girl moved in next door. Staying home from work today.
  • David is sick about his sin-confessed all, wrote a song
  • Solomon is writing Songs that all the boys want to read
  • Enoch is outta here
  • Job is sick of his friend’s advise
  • Daniel is petting the lions
  • Nehemiah is building a big wall…be done in about 7 weeks.
  • John the Baptist is eating locusts and wild honey and looking for the One whose shoes I am not worthy to tie
  • Peter is walking on water-oops, not anymore
  • Zacchaeus is in a tree looking for Jesus
  • Judas is counting money
  • Jesus is sweating drops of blood in the Garden
  • Peter is hating that the rooster crows
  • Jesus is forgiving those who put Him on this cross
  • God is turning His back on His Son with the sin of the world upon him
  • Jesus is thirsty
  • Mary is wailing in agony
  • God is satisfied
  • Jesus is back!
  • Thomas is doubting it ever happened
  • Jesus is praying and sitting at the right hand of His Father
  • Holy Spirit is regenerating sinners
  • Jesus is redeeming the lost
  • God is glorified and is seeking worshippers

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